Bonus Article 2: How To Walk With Confidence

A few days back, in the midst of my chaotic
holiday shopping excursion, I decided to take
refuge in a pleasant nook of the mall. While
gathering my thoughts, I was presented with
the resonance of a confident woman. Her black
leather heeled boots well preceded her
appearance.
Once in view, I would guess she was midfifties,
dressed in form fitting jeans and a
flashy, collared blouse. Her boots allowed a
couple extra inches on her 5’2” height. She
came and went in a flurry with the other
holiday shoppers, but her essence lingered on
beyond the completion of my rest period. I
wondered what beliefs in herself did this
woman have to carry herself such an assured
manner.
Out of curiosity, how do you feel when you
see another woman walking confidently past
you? I am sure that you have had privy to a
similar scene - she is taking long strides
with her shoulders back and chin up as she
strolls on down the way.
Sometimes you may think she is attractive
(but don’t want to admit it), other times you
may think ‘what the heck is she so proud of?’
Does it ever irritate you that another woman
might think that she is…as my little sister
says…”All That”?
Confidence in one’s appearance does not
equate to vanity, nor does it equate to being
condescending or arrogant. In fact,
confidence is something that we, as moms and
aging women, should all indulge in on a
frequent basis. When we learn to look into
ourselves to find what is right with us, we
will begin to find the same steadfast gait
within ourselves.
Instead of becoming irritated with those who
exude confidence, we will begin to relate to
the feeling. To reiterate a popular cliché,
when our faces are toward the sunshine, we
will not see the shadows. This can be likened
to finding happiness within ourselves instead
of pointing shameful fingers at unsuspecting
passer-bys.
Building confidence can start with
achievement. When was the last time you made
a goal and stuck to it? I would like to
believe that near the top of your list is the
ideal of being fit and healthy. Let’s take
this one and run with it.
When I wrote Mom Looks Great, I wanted the
moms who participated in the fitness program
to have the option of this same confident
walk as well as many other benefits upon the
completion of Phase III, if not throughout
the entire process and well into the
maintenance stage. I wanted the reader’s kids
to notice that their Mom looks great! I
wanted ‘dad’ or ‘significant other’ to
acknowledge - “Yeah…Mom does looks great!” So
what aside from the body does that “looks
great” phrase entail?
Looking great is also the spirit within you
that transcends your superficial flesh. It is
your aura, your charisma and your soul. This
is why exercise and nutrition play such a
vital role in helping you achieve your goal
of looking great.
When you begin a healthy fitness program you
begin to look great even before the weight
drops and the muscles tone.
When you live this lifestyle, the changes
began almost immediately! You will begin to
sleep better at night (diminishing dark
circles under the eyes), you will have more
energy in the following days (gone are the
tired grimaces when someone initiates
movement) and deep inside your brain, the
endorphins are throwing a jubilant
celebration (therein lies your improved
moods).
This is also what ‘looks great’ has to offer.
The resulting weight loss and muscle tonality
will come, but long after you already have a
shine to your skin and a feel-good smile on
your face. Even in these early stages people
will begin to notice.
So then what do you do with the flattering
comments people begin to give to you? When
someone says you look great, do you
graciously accept the compliment or do you
find an excuse to deflect it? Even in our
worst moments, a stray compliment could find
its way to us and we need to be prepared to
accept it with enthusiasm.
From this day forward, every compliment you
receive YOU MUST accept with a smile and a
thank you. After reading this article you are
no longer allowed to counter compliments with
self-putdowns such as “Ugh, [this excuse that
you are wrong]” or “Oh, [I know you don’t
mean that]”.
Remember that looking great is not always
about the perfect body, the sharpest clothes
or the healthiest hair. It is how you are
perceived by those around you. Take your
compliment and use it as a building block to
your confidence.
Thinking back to the unknown female with the
self-assured walk, how could you attain that
same confidence? Begin with keeping your
thoughts focused on your goals and the
optimism of attaining them.
Follow it up with exercise and nutrition on a
consistent basis and top it off with the
sheer acceptance of all compliments, whether
you feel they are justifiable or not. Feel
proud about strutting your self wherever you
may be. Sure, some people may feel irritated
just like you once may have been, but some
will think that mom looks great.
In the end, feel happy for the woman who can
convey confidence. You never know the trials
she has endured in her life.
Whether she nearly folded from a devastating
divorce, endured painful suffering from a
terrible disease or even struggled for years
to lose a detrimental amount of body fat.
Whatever her story, she finally feels a sense
of victory. And, unbeknownst to you, inside
she has also probably gained a true inner
beauty that is evident only by those who know
her well.