miercuri, 10 martie 2010

Why is it so hard to find a date?

5 smart ways to get a great date
You are fun, likeable, interesting, attractive, and uniquely you. So why is it hard to find a date? It could be that you are not doing things in a positive 'dateable' way. Continue reading to find the answers to five questions that just may help you land a date with Mr Right!

1. 'Would I want to date myself?'

By asking yourself this question and answering it honestly, you are able to see what parts of the self may need to be worked on.

You may have heard the saying that if you don't love yourself, than no one else will. It may sound a bit harsh, but the reality is that self-love helps draw people closer. It is important to create yourself in to the best package possible.

You can improve your date-ability quotient by such simple steps as self-education classes, exercise, meditation, or yoga, for example. Kimberly Williams, author of the dating book 'The Basics' suggests 'Something as simple as a manicure or pedicure helps keep you feeling better about yourself.'

It doesn't have to be drastic, but it should help you feel better about answering 'Would I want to date myself?' with a resounding yes!

2. 'How is my body language?'

The way that we are initially perceived by other is by what they see. First impressions are vitally important. If you have your arms crossed over your chest, a stern look on your face or are frowning, you may be stomping out your chances before they even begin.

It is important to keep yourself relaxed -- or at least seem that way! Holding yourself in an open and relaxed manner can go a long way toward helping others feel comfortable about approaching you, a stranger. It also shows that you feel confident in your own skin, which -- according to Evan Mark Katz, an author and leading dating expert -- is one of things that men respond to most.

But showing that confidence in a self-appreciating way is also critical. Stephany Alexander, the creator of WomanSavers.com, suggests against dressing too provocatively because, unfortunately, 'then you are going to attract the wrong people.' By dressing in a smart, sexy and classy way, you will not only help show that you are a confident woman, but you will also be able to hold yourself in a manner that exudes assurance and approachability.

3. 'How is my communication?'

Though we are all human beings, it is different talking to men than it is talking to our girlfriends. Katz suggests getting to know men on a deeper level. 'I think that we create a big chasm when we think about the opposite sex, and I would ask any woman that might be reading this, 'Wouldn't it be better if men understood you?' I suggest befriending them, talking to them and learning from them.'

By becoming friends with guys that you are interested in, you learn what those men are all about. This not only is handy to have when making conversation, but also helps you understand who he is when it moves beyond the first date. When you have a feeling for what makes his mind tick, you realize what makes him who he is -- all of which makes a man's actions a lot less mysterious. Williams reiterates this feeling, 'Find out what he likes to talk about, keep it light and listen. Find out about the person.'

Another important point with communicating and learning from men is that it helps you discover if you really have things in common with the type of man that you find most attractive. Alexander makes a good point that 'the more things that you have in common, the more things that you can do together'and that 'alikeness' can lead to love.'

4.'Am I putting myself out there?'

In the opinion of most experts, the most important factor in not finding a date is not putting yourself out there. It is extremely important to get yourself in a place where there are men who you want to meet -- they're not likely to drop by your living room or be hanging out in your backyard.

Opportunities to meet Mr Wonderful can arise if you take classes about subjects that you are interested in, or by giving time to a cause near and dear to your heart. Along these lines, Aexander suggests against a rendezvous with someone in a bar, but instead 'meet men in places such as a school, church or volunteer organization -- because then you know that he believes in the same causes as you.' Williams proposes frequenting places that will be visited by affluent men, such as upscale coffee houses or shops.

By putting yourself in a place that has like-minded people, you might just be making that step that brings you closer to love.

5. 'Have I ventured beyond my box?'

People tend to get caught up in their own movie of life and forget that there are many other multiplex cinemas out there. If you embark on a trip beyond what your life entails, you might be delighted with what you find.

Katz agrees. 'We have our interests, our lives and our home, but the odds of meeting Mr Right in our common, day-to-day [environment] are astronomically slim, and that's why I think that anything one does to make an effort to put themselves out beyond their normal world in order to meet someone, makes your chances increase." Put simply, he says, "You could be the most happy, likeable, kind person in the world -- but if you don't meet single men, it doesn't matter.'

If this seems frightening, it's okay to ask for help. Alexander makes the point that 'if you don't take action, you don't get reaction." Look around you and see what resources you have available just as an extension of your everyday life. Alexander suggests, "You can tell your friends and family that you are single; you can network through them, or pick up new hobbies like skiing, for example. You can also utilize dating websites on the internet.' Expanding your world will not only amplify your life, but will also open doors to new dating opportunities.

Your answers may lead to a new beginning

The dating world can seem scary, harsh and seemingly impossible at times. But don't be discouraged. When you answer these simple-but-important questions, you're already on your way. They may reinforce a strategy you've tried or set you on a better path, or might even spark an idea that hadn't already occurred to you. And those thoughts might just be the link to a fresh start in the world of love!

marți, 2 martie 2010

What This Guide Is About And Who It's For

I hope by the time you finish this book you
will realise just how powerful this
information is. This is not some rehashed
dating manual which spews out bad information
that will HURT your chances of dating
successfully.
This book isn't written by a prolific writer
who's job it is to churn out books by the
dozen which he has no expertise on, it's
written by a guy who struggled for years to
realize exactly what it is that turns women
on and off.
This book is for all the guys out there who
are sick of being told "I just want to be
friends" or "you're a really nice guy but
It's just not the right time in my life for a
relationship" and about one hundred other
excuses I've heard over and over again.
This book doesn't just cover Internet dating,
it covers all the aspects of what make men
successful with women.
Internet dating has made meeting beautiful
women so much easier, hence why I've been
using it for the last 2 years with great
success.

Chapter 1 - Why Internet Dating?

I get asked this question all the time. Why
use Internet dating over any other method of
meeting women?
I mean, there are hundreds of ways to meet
women and they are all great and have their
advantages.
Speed dating
Singles events
Through friends
Offline dating agencies
Personal ads
In bars and nightclubs
Taking courses at local colleges
And the list goes on and on.....
BUT
Internet dating is KING and here is why.
It's cheap
It's quick
It's fun
It's simple to use
There are thousands of women in your area now
online
And the biggest reason of all, IT'S A GREAT
PLACE TO LEARN WITHOUT THE FEAR OF FACE TO
FACE REJECTION!
Like it or not, rejection is part of the
dating process, even the hottest most
successful guys with dating get rejected more
times then they hear a yes.
In someways dating is a numbers game, but
most men have TERRIBLE odds when it comes to
dating. My job in this book is to lower the
odds for you and make you more successful
with the type of women you want to date.....
and I know you're busy, that's why Internet
dating is great. Put up a profile, tweak it a
bit until it sounds good and away you go.
It's your own automated dating machine thats
up 24/7 attracting women around the clock.
You don't have to be attractive, rich or
anything like that. In fact, the guys I know
who are most successful with women don't have
a lot of money and they are just average
looking men, nothing special about them,
except they know what women want, they behave
and hold themselves in ways women find
attractive.
My Story
I'm a skinny guy, bout 6'3, by no means ugly,
but by no means a bulging muscle bound model.
I've always been a little shy, which is fine,
always been a little awkward in social
situations, never had much confidence in
myself around women.
I had NO luck with dating. When I was 16 I
got lucky and landed a girlfriend, and we
were together for 3 years, but after that, I
went 3 years without even 1 date. Partly
because I was consumed with work and partly
because I was turning women off with the way
I acted around them.
But about 2 years ago I got fed up with being
dateless and looking around and seeing UGLY
guys with girlfriends and in most cases HOT
girls. I thought if these guys are meeting
these women and they're not rich, successful
or even good looking, I must be doing
something wrong.
What these guys had that I didn't have was
the right attitude, the right frame of mind,
and I get into this in the next chapter.
So I learned everything I could about women,
psychology, what makes women attracted to
certain types of guys and I even read a book
called "sperm wars" which is all about
evolution.
I now am able to meet, talk to and date
beautiful women like it's the easiest thing
in the world to do, and the only thing that
changed about me was my attitude and the
skills and knowledge I learnt from making
lots of mistakes.
I didn't get more attractive, I didn't become
mega rich, I just learnt to be what women
want.

Chapter 2 - Step 1: Understanding The Law Of Attraction!

For women attraction isn't a choice, they
either feel it for you or they don't, it's
that simple. If a woman doesn't feel
attraction for you from the start, they more
then likely never will.
You cannot convince a woman to feel
attraction for you. Let me explain,
Just because you're rich, attractive,
successful, drive a nice car, take her to
fancy dinners, buy her expensive things, that
won't make her feel attraction for you.
I know, it's not logical I get it, but women
don't choose mates on logic. They might say
they do, but they don't.
Women choose mates by their level of
attraction they have for them (unless they
are money hungry women after you for only
your wallet) and not for what you can give
them in return.
Men seem to think bribing women with gifts
will make them fall in love with you, but it
has the total opposite effect, women see this
as you needing their approval because you
don't think you are worthy enough to date
them without having to buy them things in
return.
Why do you think so many women get into
relationships with bad boys who treat them
terribly? Because these guys trigger an
attraction inside these women. It's not
logical, I know, but it's a fact.
I'm not saying you have to treat women
terribly to make them feel attraction for
you, but you don't have to cater to a womans
every need.
Women would rather date a poor guy with no
money who's charming, funny, cocky and just a
fun date then a guy who's rich, buys them
things and is stuffy and boring.
Women want what women want and you can either
be what they want or be what they don't want,
it's your choice.
This book isn't about changing you to suit
women, it's about showing you that you don't
need to do all these things to make women
attracted to you, you don't need to bribe
them, you don't need to stress if one woman
doesn't like you, this is your life, you
choose who you date, not the other way
around.
What Qualities Do Women Find
Attractive In Men?
Women when asked will say they want a nice
guy who treats them like a pricness and
pretty much has no balls of his own. They
like the idea of getting flowers and having a
sensitive guy to talk to about their
problems.
All women will tell you they want to date the
nice guy or that they can never seem to find
a nice guy to date.
The problem is, this isn't exactly correct.
These women arn't lying when they say they
want these things.... on the surface they do,
because it makes sense, it makes sense to
want a guy like this, but on a subconscious
level, they really want a man who takes
control and acts like a man should
So what qualities do women want in men?
What they've always wanted and always will
want. Women want their men to be men and not
wussy boys who ask for approval to scratch
their noses.
I know this sounds harsh, but it's true.
Have you ever noticed the following?
When you give a girl a compliment or tell a
girl how beautiful she is she shys away from
you?
BUT
When you notice a flaw about her she will get
more involved in the conversation and take
you more seriously.
Have you ever noticed....
When you buy girls gifts and take them to
expensive dinners they end up later that
night thanking you for a great evening and
going out with another guy?
BUT
If you just go for a quick drink and act like
you are equals she feels attracted to you
because you're not catering to her every
whim.
Have you noticed when....
You call a girl often after a date and she
seems distant and funny
BUT
When you don't call her and you act like
you're busy and could live with her or
without her, she won't stop calling you.
WOMEN DON'T WANT TO BE CATERED TO, HOUNDED,
TREATED LIKE PRINCESSES OR ANY OTHER RUBBISH
YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU ABOUT DATING.
This is from my experience what women want
from a man.....
They Want You To Be Confident
They Want You To Lead
They Don't Want You To Get Emotional
They Want You To Be Fun With No Hang Ups
They Want You To Make Them Laugh
They Want You To Make Them Wonder
They Want You To Be Interesting
They Want You To Know What You Want From Life
Want to learn how to do those things.... read
on!
Hard And Fasting Dating Rules
You Must Follow At All Times -
The Right Attitude To Have
Towards Women, Dating And Life!
This whole section is some of the most
powerful information you will ever read, not
just about dating but about life in general.
When your life is going to plan, you feel
confident and when you feel confident, you
exude a persona that naturally attracts
people and makes them want to be around you.
No one likes dating a sad sack.
These rules are what I live my life by and
were written by me for me, I never thought I
would share these rules with anyone except
maybe my future children.
Dating Rules
Rule 1: Always be confident in yourself -
MAIN RULE!
People who have real confidence in themselves
attract people naturally. People can tell
when you are confident with yourself and
where you are going with your life.
If you're not confident in yourself, why? Is
it because you have no money? Is it because
you think you're overweight or ugly?
All of this can be overcome with confidence.
Honestly, girls (girls we want to date) don't
care a lot about these things. Of course, if
you are really over weight and you have bad
teeth and you dress like a hobo, change
yourself.
It's that simple. If you want to be sucessful
with women, you can't hide behind excuses to
fail.
I know a lot of men who arn't rich and arn't
good looking who are very successful with
women because they act like they are good
looking and they are rich, they act in ways
that make men and women naturally attracted
to them.
A happy go lucky guy who smiles a lot will
get x10 the amount of attention as a sad sack
sitting in the corner no matter how hot or
rich he is.
Be happy with yourself, but if there is
something holding you back from being a more
outgoing person, fix it.
I had a large mole on my face and while no
women seemed to care about it, it made me
feel selfconscious and I didn't feel
confident in my looks, so I got it removed.
The only real different I see now is not in
my looks but in my personality. I feel better
about MYSELF and I did it for MYSELF, I
didn't do it for women's approval, I did it
because I wanted to be more outgoing and feel
better about myself.
Rule 2: Relax - be totally calm - act like u
dont need her
As you can tell these rules are not in any
particular order but when you first start
dating someone, act calm, be cool.
Especially on the first date, be cool. Don't
be nervous, don't get all excited and act
like a goof.
Don't act desperate around women, just be
yourself and not worry about the outcome,
dating should be fun!
Rule 3: Be Cocky and Funny - be outgoing and
have fun AND BE FUN TO BE AROUND - be
charming/gentleman.
Being cocky to me means not being afraid to
joke around with women. Men are so scared to
be themselves around women that they act all
uptight and nervous and are not sure what to
say.
Don't worry about. Most men by nature are not
big mouth arrogant SOB's, so just say what's
on your mind.
Talking about sex and other taboo subjects is
FINE. Teasing a girl lightly is fine, as long
as it's funny and a little bit cocky.
Be the fun guy to hang around, make dating
fun for you and her.
Rule 4: Don't get emotional even if the woman
does - women will test you - nothing to be
insecure about
This rule IS SO IMPORTANT when you start
dating someone more seriously. I made this
mistake a couple of times early on and the
relationships ended pretty soon after.
If a woman says something to you that makes
you feel nervous, angry, upset and you feel
like you're going to get overly emotional and
say something you will regret, FOR THE GOOD
OF YOUR SANITY, Don't say anything.
It's a lot easier to say nothing then it is
to take something stupid back. Think before
you speak. Women will always do this. Women
will blame you for things that are not your
fault, things will happen in their lives that
make them emotional, you're job is to stay
calm.
I'll give you a personal example. I started
dating a girl I REALLY liked, but a couple of
weeks into the relationship, she told me she
was pregnant and she wasn't sure who the
father was, because before she started dating
me, she was seeing two other guys.
I freaked out, and you probably think, well
rightly so, and it was probably for the best
things ended, but, breaking up with someone
is better when you're the one breaking up
with the girl
I know this sounds childish, but it's true.
It's a mental thing. Being dumped is a
horrible feeling and take's longer to get
over.
Rule 5: Lead in the relationship - Always be
a man - IE Dad - say things like "you do what
you wanna do"
Girls like a guy who will lead in the
relationship. I don't mean bossy, I mean
lead. It's a manly thing to do.
When a woman asks what you want to do, don't
reply back, "I dunno, what do you want to
do", take the bull by the horn's and make a
decision. I know it's a bit of a pain to be
the one who does this all the time, but it
really works.
I also added a part about my dad in this
rule. He is one of those old fashioned type
of guy's, always leads, makes executive
decions. He isn't wishy washy.
Also, when women throw things at you that
you're not expecting, never over react, I
touched on this just before, and I'm going to
again.
If a girl says she's going out with male
friends, or seeing an ex boyfriend, don't
flip your lid, this is the quickest way to
push her away.
Just say things like, "you do what you wanna
do", "it's your life, I'm not your father,
have fun". Saying things like this make you
sound confident in yourself and don't really
care what she does.
Begging her not to go and doing all sorts of
crazy things guys do will push her away for
good.
Rule 6: Live an active and full life - you
come first - plenty of fish in the sea -
Always keep busy
Most of you are probally thinking how am I
going to remember all these things, and
you're not suppose to really. Use them all,
or use just a few, refer to them often and
they will sink in over time.
But if you only remember one dating rule,
this is it.
Always keep busy! Never make too much time
for a girl when you first start dating. All
the other rules will fall into place if you
just follow this one.
When you're sitting at home with nothing to
do, you will be tempted to want to ring any
girl you're dating too much and you will
become too available.
If she's says lets make plans for tuesday,
say no you're busy, how about wednesday.
Get a hobby, play a sport, go out more with
your friends and if you don't have any
friends, make some!
Keep your mind busy and everything else will
fall into place because you will be too busy
with your life to care what she is doing. She
will be just a nice little extra in your
life, not your whole life!
Keep busy guys!
Rule 7: Don't rush the dating process - build
the mystery - forcing repells attraction
Again, this goes with keeping busy. Never see
a girl more then twice a week for at least
the first 10 to 20 dates. Seriously. I know
you will want to spend all your time with
someone if you think she's the one, but, you
need to build the attraction, not force it.
This way is best for both of you. I feel most
guys will settle for a girl because she wants
a relationship, even tho she might not be the
girl for him.
Take your time, have fun, date multiple
women, it's ok.
Rule 8: Let things go, the past is the past -
but always tell it as it is - no hangups!
Every one has a past, and if I've made any
mistake too much, its this one. You have to
accept people for who they are, if you really
like someone, leave the past where it
belongs, in the past.
We all have baggage. Of course, there are
limits.
Rule 9: Don't write sappy emails ever, never
write anything because of fear or insecurity
What is it with guys and writing sappy
letters or emails when they feel like they
are losing the girl or have lost the girl.
If a girl breaks up with you, let it go, move
on with your life, start dating again and you
will find this will bring back love quicker
then a sappy email professing your undying
love for the girl.
Think before you speak, think before you
type!
Rule 10: Girls find a guy hot when he has a
plan for life - IE I told a girlfriend about
my dreams for life
I don't know what it is, but when your
talking about something your passionate
about, people are naturally attracted to you.
I use to date a girl who played guitar and
she was so passionate about it, it was a real
turn on. She knew what she wanted to be and I
found that sexy.
Same thing applies to men. I tell girls about
my dream of running the largest publishing
company in the world one day and girls find
my passion and that idea really attractive.
Rule 11: Don't appologise for the sake of
appologising - Don't appologise if you've
done nothing wrong
This is a real turn off for women. Guys have
a habit of appologising for girls bad
behaviours and it's not on.
Women see this as a sign of weakness. If a
girl is doing something or saying something
you don't like, tell her that. If she's
acting bratty, tell her that.
Don't put up with moody behaviour just
because she thinks you deserve to be treated
that way, you don't.
Rule 12: First Date Advice - Lean Back Relax
Don't Be Nervous, Be Confident, Funny, Cocky,
But Don't Take It Too Far!
I must admit, one date I did take the cocky
and funny routine a bit far and probably was
a bit more relaxed then I should have been
and I came across very arrogant and
sarcastic.
Arrogance is a huge turn off and there is a
fine line between that and cocky and funny.
Rule 13: No matter how funny or cocky you
are, treat sex with respect. If you do have
sex with a girl, make it special, like she's
the only one that matters.
Rule 14: Dress well, but don't over do it!
Personal Life
Rule 1: Exercise often - 100 situps, 100
pushups, running, work on arms
Girls don't care if you're not buff, but
looks are important too. Take care of your
body if for no one else but yourself.
I do 100 situps, 100 pushups every day. I do
a light weight session focusing on building
bigger arms and chest muscles. I also run 3
times a week. This is a perfect workout that
takes very little time out of your week and
will make you look and feel a lot better
inside and out, I guarantee it!
Rule 2: Never let anything or anyone
overwhelm my emotions to the point of
incapacitation
Nothing in life is worth letting your life go
down the drains for. If something bad
happens, pick yourself up, don't stop working
or letting your finances suffer.
Rule 3: Be Independent always
Rule 4: Always keep learning new things and
travel
Read lots, watch documentaries, take courses
and travel all you can. You'll thank me for
this advice one day.
Rule 5: Always have fun always have a
positive attitude - everything will be ok
Rule 6: Every day or when you feel stressed
sit silent for 30 minutes and think about
nothing just relax.
Rule 7: Don't let little things rattle you -
never over react
Life is full of little surprises, just like
dating, but let them rattle you, just keep
going on with your life like nothing
happened.
He who angers you becomes your master.
Rule 8: Create a life's to do list and follow
thru with it completely and systematically
This is something you must do. Everyone has
goals for life, I don't care if it's only 4
things, write them down and check them off.
I have close to 100 things I want to do
before I do, like learn to speak German, go
to Oktoberfest, things like that.
I also have more serious things like, Run the
largest publishing company in the world,
which I still quite havn't checked off yet ;)
Rule 9: Set high goals and standards for your
life and never let anyone compromise them
Rule 10: Always have an open mind and don't
be judgemental
Rule 11: Don't Get Moody With People! - Just
Relax!
Nothing lowers the level of conversation more
than raising the voice.
Rule 12: You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Don't
Take!
It's Alright To Have Faults And
Be Yourself - You Have My
Permission To Make Mistakes
Like I said in the above section, I've made
mistakes before and at the time I thought I
was the biggest idiot, but it's all a part of
learning how to be successful with women.
No one is perfect and it's ok to have quirky
little habits, no woman expects you to be
perfect or a dating robot that knows exactly
what to do at all times.
The main thing is to make sure it doesn't get
you down and you don't stop trying if you
have a bad experience. Every woman isn't
going to like you and vice versa, but....
You miss 100% of all shots you don't take!

Chapter 3 - Step 2 Find 3 Online Dating Sites To Put Your Online Profile On

















There are THOUSANDS of online dating sites
out there, so what one's best for you?
For starters, the best idea is to cast a wide
net and put your profile on at least 3 online
dating sites.
What I've been doing recently is I've been
putting my profile on 2 large online dating
sites and one niche dating site.

Chapter 4 - Step 3 How To Write A Killer Online Profile With Samples!

The MOST IMPORTANT aspect of any successful
Internet dating venture is your online
profile. Personally, I use 2 profiles to
attract dates.
The bad boy profile which attracts a certain
more wilder person, and the nice guy profile
that attracts the nice girls you would be
proud to bring home to mother.
Feel free to steal and change these profiles.
What ever you do, don't just copy them as
they are, it would look stupid seeing
hundreds of profiles online exactly the same,
and besides, you really should put your own
personality into it, as this profile is about
you and not about me.
Of course, you can use them as is if you
want, but you will get better results if you
tweak them to suit your personality.
If you are the more cocky and confident
person, use the "bad boy" profile, but make
sure you are the same person online as you
are offline or it will be a waste of time.
You must also have a photo on your profile!
If they give you room to put up more then one
photo, don't do it, just put one good photo
up of you.
The Bad Boy Profile
Intro: Top 10 ways to scare any guy off,
including me, inside
Interests:
Music: Dance, trance, house, you know what
I'm talking about. Ministry of sound etc. I
also watch Video Hits, so you can rest assure
that I'm up to date with every new rappers
name and criminal record.
Reading: I read anything I can get my hands
on. I run a publishing company, so I get paid
to read.
Movies: Comedies! Love a good comedy. Teen
comedies. Anything with breasts. Also
anything set in the 18th and 19th century
like Hornblower, Napoleon and boring crap
like that. James bond!
Sport: I play professional cricket and
basketball/league for fun. Like extreme
sports and paintball. No, not laser skirmish,
ugh. Yes, I'm going to list going to the gym
because I ACTUALLY do it.
Other interests: Sitting in my hottub looking
out over the city listening to dance music.
Love to travel, spent 6 months living in
Spain and 2 years living in Perth. Cars,
imports (supra's!) and SUV's.
Profile Body:
10. Tell him that he looks like your father
9. Tell him that he looks like your mother
8. Talk about your doll collection in third
person
7. Talk about your recent hernia operation
6. Showing him the hernia in a jar
5. Confessing your love for hitler on the
first date. You should wait at least 2 or 3
dates for that one.
4. Talk about your co workers annoying habits
while pinching food off his plate.
3. Talk about children and marriage on the
first date.
2. Say you look nothing like your photo after
you sent him a photo of imogen bailey
1. Last but not least, never say "I've seen
bigger" about any part of his body
Now if you promise not to talk about these
things send me an email. Be warned I'm not
looking for pen pals. I'm too much fun to be
around to just leave it at writing emails.
Next week I'll list the top 10 things guys
don't want to hear women say, including my
favorite, "That's not the way my ex did it".
Relationship sought: Short-term or Long-term
Relationship with a Female
Ideal partner:
Between 18 and 45 years old
Incredibly intelligent and amazingly
beautiful. Someone who finds my jokes funny
is a plus. No stalkers or clingy people
please, I'm not sure what I'm looking for,
but I know its not that. Someone who believes
anything in life is possible, because it is!
The Nice Guy Profile
Intro: New to the scene.....
Interests:
Music: Most types, whatever is good at the
time
Reading: Horror, Drama
Movies: Horror, Comedy, Drama
Sport: Swimming, Tennis, Rugby
Other interests: Art
Profile Body:
I'm an easy going nice guy, trying to find
the right person, I enjoy intellectual
conversations, late night beach walks,
clubbing, music of most types, reading,
tennis and swimming, among other things. Love
pets, dogs and cats mainly, so you would need
to be an animal lover.
I might party hard, but I also enjoy quiet
nights at home watching a DVD, or doing
things that couples do in their own private
space.
With that said, I'm the type of guy of both
extremes, so finding someone willing to spend
quality time with has been more difficult
then first thought, hence signing up with
this site, hopefully it works out well???
Relationship sought: Short-term or Long-term
Relationship with a Male or Female
Ideal partner:
Between 18 and 35 years old
I'm looking for someone who is understanding,
uses common sense, someone who is confident
in themself and knows where they're going in
life, and are happy with that direction. Age
doesn't mean that much to me, as long as
there is a connection, building rapport
between one another is important.
A Profile For The Older Gent Or Men Who Want
To Attract Younger Women
Intro: A stick insect walks into a bar...
Interests:
Music: club mixes, trance, ministry of sound
stuff and old stuff , rolling stones, acdc,
80's. Fav track at the moment is scott bond
vs solarstone 3rd earth remix.
Reading: yes, i can read. that's why i buy
those magazines, for the articles. Not the
pictures, i swear.
Movies: lord of the rings trilogy,
matrix..first two, third was...disappointing.
arthouse. subtitles don't scare me and we've
already established that i can read.
Currently hooked on Asian martial arts movies
tho the only thing i know about 'kung fu' is
how to spell it.
Sport: Not so much sport as fitness, gym,
bike, run, kayak, ill have a go at most
things. Also follow motorsport (mostly bikes)
and golf. And, in a reversal of male / female
stereotypes, you go to the footy, I'll stay
home and watch the grass grow.
Other interests: many and varied. you should
ask me.
Profile Body:
I figure talking to yourself is acceptable
but talking to yourself in a pirates voice
probably isn't. I started doing that today
and i figure i need to get out more and meet
some people before i topple over the brink
into complete madness. Don't be alarmed thou,
all the sharp utensils are under lock and
key.
OK, i realise this profile tends more toward
the humourous rather than the serious which i
guess is indicative of my personality so here
are some details which might help to round
out the picture.
I work as a paid firefighter, a job i love
and have been doing for over 155 years. Days
off are spent keeping fit, reading, going to
the movies, riding bikes...both mountain and
motor and, of course, looking for my
favourite hat.
I have a large family whom i see fairly often
but not often enough. I grew up in the
country (or should i say i got older in the
country) but, after 20 years in melbourne,
any trace of the "country boy" is well and
truely gone.
Whilst I have your attention, can you please
be who, and what, you say you are in your
profile.
Ideal partner:
Between 25 and 42 years old , at most
5'7"/170 cm from AUSTRALIA
Hmmmmmm, Fit, fun, confident, adventurous,
young or young at heart and can tell me where
i left my favourite hat. It's gotta be around
here somewhere. Oh, on the off chance you do
feel sufficiently inspired to send me a kiss,
please include your photo password if
applicable ;-)

Chapter 5 - Step 4: Learn To Write Effective Email Followups

Ok, so you're online, you're searching for
profiles of other women and you find a few
you want to email, what next?
The first email is crucial. You have to
remember, women are getting sometimes
hundreds of emails a day, so you have to
stand out straight away!
Just like in marketing, your headline should
be
eye grabbing!
The best way to do this is to mention
something about her profile in your headline.
I've made the mistake of writing things like
"hey there" in the subject heading and it's
really not a good idea.
If in the photo she puts on her profile,
she's wearing something unique comment on it.
Example Subject Headings
Where did you get that necklace from?
I don't think you're going to like me....
That top you are wearing is....
You're lucky I emailed you!
etc....
Things like that get a womans attention when
she's reading her email.
Thats the first mistake most people make, the
second one is they write too much in their
first email! They write a whole life story.
Just keep it short and sweet.
Here is an example first email I use.
Heya,
If you want to have an enthralling chat/get
to know me better my msn address is
myemailaddress@here.com so that's the place
to do it, or even better, over a crownie or 3
:) I live in Robertson, near sunnybank
plaza/garden city.
I'm off to try and find a place that does a
decent oysters kilpatrick, so have a good
night.
Cheers
your name, your profile id name
P.S. make a funny comment here about her
profile/suggest if she doesn't have msn to
either download it or buy you a beer and meet
up instead.
Notice I don't try and get an email
relationship happening, you need to hook your
date quickly.
You need to get from one step to the other
quickly.
If she emails you back and says she doesn't
have msn or any instant chat device, ask her
for her phone number.
It's that simple. Don't become email buddies!

Chapter 6 - Step 5: Learn How To Use Instant Messaging With Success

Ok, so you've got the girl on msn or ICQ or
whatever you want to use, what next?
Chatting online is the best way to work on
chatting to women without the fear of being
nervous or making a fool of yourself in
public. Just have fun and go with the flow.
Don't bog the conversation down with general
chit chat. Talking about the weather, what
she does for a living are things you can talk
about when you're dating.
The idea of chatting online is to get the
girls phone number and move to the next step.
Here is a sample conversation I had with a
girl very recently after moving her from
email to msn....
Me: hey stinky, how goes it
Her: I do no stink
Her: I'm good, feelin better
Her: And u?
Me: Much better
Me: So when are you going to buy me that
beer?
Me: I'm busy this weekend and I want to make
sure you are completely over your cold so you
don't infect me by sitting to close to me.
Her: hahah, I won't infect you promise!
Me: Give me your mobile # and I'll give you a
call when I'm not busy, I want to make sure
you're really not a 59 year old man, who's
overweight.
Her: Oh yah, because being overweight would
make all the difference.
Me: Stop stalling and give me the digits....
:P
Her: Ok, (number here), just don't stalk me.
Me: No worries about that, it's my week off.
Ne way, gotta run, I'll ring you when I'm
free.
And that is how it's done my friends.

Chapter 7 - Step 6: Learn How To Use The Phone With Success

93% of all communication is done with your
voice tone and body language. If you ring up
a woman asking for a date and you sound like
mickey mouse and are all nervous, you've
blown it straight away, no questions asked.
Again, the idea of using the phone is to get
the date, not to have a general chit chat.
Most guys have this habit of speaking for
ages on the phone and not getting to the
point.
Before you ring, think about what you are
going to say, how you are going to say it and
what you are going to say if she throws a
curve ball at you.
Go into the phone call with a plan, think
about what you are going to say and you will
be fine.
Too many people fear confrontation, just ask
for the date and if she says no, she says no,
just move on.
If you don't get a returned call you should
probably move on, happy that you didn't waste
another moment with a rude jerk.
If, on the other hand you're the adventurous
type, you can try this. Call the person up,
but don't leave messages on their answering
machine or voice mail. Wait for the person to
answer.
Just so you know, phones these days usually
tell people who has called, hungup, when and
how many times, so please dont ring 50 times
a day, because more then likely they will
know you were doing it and it looks a bit
stalkerish.
If after you called a few times over a few
days and no one picks up, leave a short,
funny message about not being able to get a
hold of her and she can ring you back.

Chapter 8 - Step 7: Meet Up For The First Time And Be Confident!

So you've got the date but you have no idea
where you are going to go on your first date?
The best date in my opinion goes as follows.
You ring up the girl, tell her to meet you at
your favorite cafe or bar for a quick drink.
Chat for an hour or so, call it a night, go
home.
That's what works for me and for every guy I
know who is good with dating.
Guys try and impress to hard on first dates
and take them to the most expensive
restaurants and buy them fancy dinners.
If end up spending more then $20 on a date,
its too much. I can remember the best date of
my life I brought 2 beers and she brought a
wine and that was it.
We chatted for an hour or so, I ended the
night and went home.
Make sure you never let your first dates go
for too long, I never let them go over 2
hours and most only last an hour or so.
It's not about how long you spend on the date
or how much money you spend, its about the
impression you leave on the girl.
If you are funny and confident and the girl
has a blast, all you need is an hour.
Yes, I've taken girls home after a first date
like this, but I don't recommend it.
Like I said in the previous chapter, body
language and voice tone are so important when
dating. You want to speak with confidence,
walk with confidence and BE confident.
Here are a few tips I use.
- Do everything slowly
What I mean by that is don't look like your
panicked or in a rush. Make every movement
deliberate and cool.
- Walk slowly and upright
When you're walking, always walk with your
shoulders back and slowly. Stand upright with
good posture and stick your chest out and
look around like you own the place.
- When sitting, lean back in your chair
Don't lean right forward and smother the
girl, give her space, lean right back and
look like you're too comfortable.
- Maintain eye contact and never mumble
Always look at her in the eyes when you're
talking and never mumble or cover your mouth
when you speak.
Here are more date ideas if you must do
something other then a quick drink
Take a drive down to the beach and walk and
talk. It's a cheap date and a good way to
find out about the other person.
Ring up your local pool hall, find out when
its the quietest and go have a game of pool
together.
Go to mini golf. The beauty of mini golf is
there will be a lot of other couples around
as well and families, so it makes for a
comfortable setting.
Take your date to a concert. If you've been
friends with this person for a while, you'll
know what he or she likes and you can work on
that. If you don't know the person well,
Take your date on a picnic by the water. Make
sure there are plenty of rest rooms and
shelter around just in case.
Go to the casino. This is not everyone's cup
of tea, but what could be more exciting then
winning big. They will never forget it.
Go go-karting. This is a great way to find
out if your date will try just about anything
once.
Take your date golfing. Find a local golf
course that caters to beginners and do only 9
holes.
Go to the golf driving range. This is
probably a better idea then golfing, it's
cheaper, shorter in time and more fun.
Have your palms read. Most women find this
sort of thing very interesting.
Take a limo ride around the city. To find the
best deals, use the Internet to find local
companies with websites.
Go to a roof top or revolving restaurant.
Eating outdoors always makes things more
memorable, just remember to make a booking
first.
Go to a day spa together and get a massage.
Go on the Internet to find the best deals.
Go hot air balooning. Probably not the ideal
first date as it's a little expensive and hot
air balooning is done very early in the
morning.
Go on a lunch date. Perfect idea if you work
together, just make sure your date knows it's
a date and not a friendly outing.
Go to a local museum. The most popular types
of museums are the interactive types, with
displays, not things like art galleries.
If your date is the sporting type, take her
to a local sporting event. You could even go
to a college game.
If you know how to ride a motorbike, take
your date for a ride somewhere scenic or at
nightime in the city.
Go to the batting cages. Not everyone's idea
of a great date, but you'll soon find out if
your date is easy going or high matainence.
Frisbee golf is another date idea that will
certainly tell you what type of person you
are dating. If you are not sure what frisbee
golf is, go to google.com and look it up,
it's a lot of fun.
Go to your local jazz club and relax.
Everyone loves jazz.
Go to the zoo. Most zoo's have nigh time
exhibits or exhibits out of the norm for
people to see.
Go to the local fair. Every year we have a
local fair where I live that has show bags,
rides etc.
Getting up early and going to the flea
markets is a very cheap and fun date. If you
are not big on sitting down and talking, this
is the date for you.
Take your date for dinner on the boardwalk.
Very romantic!

Chapter 9 - Step 8: Control The Pace Of The Relationship

Girls have a tendency to be their own worst
enemy when it comes to killing attraction. If
a girl had a really great time with you, she
will ring you constantly, but it's your job
as the man to control the relationship.
You don't have to pick up the phone everytime
she rings you know.
Talking to each other constantly will ruin
the attraction when you first start dating.
Here is what I do after a good date.
I ring her the next day, tell her I had a
great, hope she did too, make some sort of
funny comment, and go, "well, I gotta go, I'm
pretty busy, so have fun, bye".
As you noticed, I didn't ask for a second
date straight off the bat. I want her
wondering about me for a while, building
anticipation. I don't want to come across as
needy and desperate.
Don't text her, don't email her, don't talk
to her on msn, icq and don't ring her for a
few days, then out of the blue, ask her for a
second date.
If she rings you, you can pick up and go I'm
kinda busy right now, and can't talk, so why
don't we meet up, Tuesday next week at this
place.
She basically did the asking out for you by
ringing back and you don't come off as needy
and desperate because you make it look like
it was her idea!
Never see a girl more then 2 times a week
when you are first dating for the first few
months and you should be dating other women.

Chapter 10 - Step 9: Date Multiple Women

Most men think that dating multiple women at
the same time is a wrong thing to do and it's
cheating. They couldn't be farther from the
truth my friend.
Men think this because women have told them
that guys who date other girls at the same
time are scum, yet they continue to date
them....
I'm not talking about sleeping with millions
of women every week, I'm talking about going
out and having fun and meeting new people in
a friendly enviroment.
If a woman says after a few dates, I think we
should date exclusively, you have to ask
yourself if that's what you want, do you want
a relationship, because that is pretty much
what she is asking.
Just be honest with everyone you date from
day one and there will be no problems what so
ever if you want to date multiple women at
the same time.
Just don't cheat on someone if you said you
would date them exclusively, don't be a jerk
and treat women badly, just be honest and
have fun and they will respect you for it.

Bonus Article 1: How To Beat Shyness

Even the most confident people have
situations that cause them to be shy. Even
famous personalities and very successful
business people experience shyness at times.
(if only they knew the best ways to overcome
shyness)
Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you
can overcome it when you learn the right way
to go about it. The problem is that you have
not been exposed to accurate, proven ways to
deal with shyness.
Shyness can be defined as having difficulty
creating a rapport with other people. For
many people, shyness can mean having a hard
time thinking of things to say in a social
setting.
For others it can include physical symptoms
of apprehension.
For most people, it involves a combination of
the two. Social behaviors that come easily to
the average person such as smiling, making
conversation, maintaining eye contact, and a
relaxed posture are extremely difficult for
the shy person to achieve.
Making friends and attending social functions
may seem like a nightmare to a shy person. No
one wants to stand in the corner alone, but a
shy person may lack the ability to approach
new people.
You can learn how to overcome shyness and
build confidence by developing new habits and
social skills. Shy people may have to exert a
large amount of effort in order to start a
conversation or attend a party. Determination
is
a key factor in learning how to overcome
shyness.
5 Ways To Overcome Shyness:
1. Some of the components of shyness are lack
of self-confidence and anxiety around others,
difficulty carrying on a conversation, and a
lack of knowledge about the expected behavior
in social situations.
Shy people can be very intimidated by people
in general. Learning how to overcome shyness
may seem like an insurmountable task, but
help is available to you through several
sources.
2. You must first determine why you are shy.
There are always underlying reasons for the
way a person reacts in certain situations.
Next, try behaving in a confident manner in
private and practice until you begin to see
results in public. Walk confidently and speak
firmly and soon you'll find yourself behaving
the same confident way in social settings.
As ridiculous as it may seem, forcing
yourself to act as if you are not shy can be
very helpful in learning how to overcome
shyness altogether.
3. One way to boost your self-confidence is
to always look your best. Looking great makes
you feel great and does wonders for your
self-esteem.
Reduce your fear of rejection by always
imagining the worst outcome possible in every
social situation. Then if the outcome is less
traumatic than you imagine, you won't dwell
on the rejection near as much. Observing
strangers and acquaintances and how they
relate to others can be a great tool in
learning how to overcome shyness.
4. If you are having difficulty overcoming
shyness, join clubs or go to events that
interest you. It's a lot more comfortable to
engage in conversations with those who have
common interests.
The initial conversation will be much easier
since you'll already have a topic of
conversation that interests you both.
5. If you do not have the confidence to
approach someone new, then smile and try to
be approachable. Most people are receptive to
a smile and a friendly face.
You could also consider taking someone that
you are comfortable with along to lessen your
anxiety. Shy people are extremely reluctant
to take the risk of approaching new people.
If you want to learn how to overcome shyness,
you may have to make an effort to be outgoing
initially, but soon your new habits will
become natural and easy.
There are numerous resources available to you
if you need help overcoming shyness.
Professional advice and tips on how to
overcome shyness can be very beneficial if
you are having difficulty taking that first
step.

Bonus Article 2: How To Walk With Confidence

A few days back, in the midst of my chaotic
holiday shopping excursion, I decided to take
refuge in a pleasant nook of the mall. While
gathering my thoughts, I was presented with
the resonance of a confident woman. Her black
leather heeled boots well preceded her
appearance.
Once in view, I would guess she was midfifties,
dressed in form fitting jeans and a
flashy, collared blouse. Her boots allowed a
couple extra inches on her 5’2” height. She
came and went in a flurry with the other
holiday shoppers, but her essence lingered on
beyond the completion of my rest period. I
wondered what beliefs in herself did this
woman have to carry herself such an assured
manner.
Out of curiosity, how do you feel when you
see another woman walking confidently past
you? I am sure that you have had privy to a
similar scene - she is taking long strides
with her shoulders back and chin up as she
strolls on down the way.
Sometimes you may think she is attractive
(but don’t want to admit it), other times you
may think ‘what the heck is she so proud of?’
Does it ever irritate you that another woman
might think that she is…as my little sister
says…”All That”?
Confidence in one’s appearance does not
equate to vanity, nor does it equate to being
condescending or arrogant. In fact,
confidence is something that we, as moms and
aging women, should all indulge in on a
frequent basis. When we learn to look into
ourselves to find what is right with us, we
will begin to find the same steadfast gait
within ourselves.
Instead of becoming irritated with those who
exude confidence, we will begin to relate to
the feeling. To reiterate a popular cliché,
when our faces are toward the sunshine, we
will not see the shadows. This can be likened
to finding happiness within ourselves instead
of pointing shameful fingers at unsuspecting
passer-bys.
Building confidence can start with
achievement. When was the last time you made
a goal and stuck to it? I would like to
believe that near the top of your list is the
ideal of being fit and healthy. Let’s take
this one and run with it.
When I wrote Mom Looks Great, I wanted the
moms who participated in the fitness program
to have the option of this same confident
walk as well as many other benefits upon the
completion of Phase III, if not throughout
the entire process and well into the
maintenance stage. I wanted the reader’s kids
to notice that their Mom looks great! I
wanted ‘dad’ or ‘significant other’ to
acknowledge - “Yeah…Mom does looks great!” So
what aside from the body does that “looks
great” phrase entail?
Looking great is also the spirit within you
that transcends your superficial flesh. It is
your aura, your charisma and your soul. This
is why exercise and nutrition play such a
vital role in helping you achieve your goal
of looking great.
When you begin a healthy fitness program you
begin to look great even before the weight
drops and the muscles tone.
When you live this lifestyle, the changes
began almost immediately! You will begin to
sleep better at night (diminishing dark
circles under the eyes), you will have more
energy in the following days (gone are the
tired grimaces when someone initiates
movement) and deep inside your brain, the
endorphins are throwing a jubilant
celebration (therein lies your improved
moods).
This is also what ‘looks great’ has to offer.
The resulting weight loss and muscle tonality
will come, but long after you already have a
shine to your skin and a feel-good smile on
your face. Even in these early stages people
will begin to notice.
So then what do you do with the flattering
comments people begin to give to you? When
someone says you look great, do you
graciously accept the compliment or do you
find an excuse to deflect it? Even in our
worst moments, a stray compliment could find
its way to us and we need to be prepared to
accept it with enthusiasm.
From this day forward, every compliment you
receive YOU MUST accept with a smile and a
thank you. After reading this article you are
no longer allowed to counter compliments with
self-putdowns such as “Ugh, [this excuse that
you are wrong]” or “Oh, [I know you don’t
mean that]”.
Remember that looking great is not always
about the perfect body, the sharpest clothes
or the healthiest hair. It is how you are
perceived by those around you. Take your
compliment and use it as a building block to
your confidence.
Thinking back to the unknown female with the
self-assured walk, how could you attain that
same confidence? Begin with keeping your
thoughts focused on your goals and the
optimism of attaining them.
Follow it up with exercise and nutrition on a
consistent basis and top it off with the
sheer acceptance of all compliments, whether
you feel they are justifiable or not. Feel
proud about strutting your self wherever you
may be. Sure, some people may feel irritated
just like you once may have been, but some
will think that mom looks great.
In the end, feel happy for the woman who can
convey confidence. You never know the trials
she has endured in her life.
Whether she nearly folded from a devastating
divorce, endured painful suffering from a
terrible disease or even struggled for years
to lose a detrimental amount of body fat.
Whatever her story, she finally feels a sense
of victory. And, unbeknownst to you, inside
she has also probably gained a true inner
beauty that is evident only by those who know
her well.